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- Subject: fw : men & cars
- because i ' m a man , when i lock my keys in the car i will
- fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your
- suggestions that we call a road service until long after
- hypothermia has set in .
- because i ' m a man , when the car isn ' t running very well ,
- i will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if i know what
- i ' m looking at . if another man shows up , one of us will say
- to the other , " i used to be able to fix these things , but now
- with all these computers and everything , i wouldn ' t know
- where to start . "
- because i ' m a man , when i catch a cold i need someone to
- bring me soup and take care of me while i lie in bed and moan .
- you never get as sick as i do , so for you this isn ' t an issue .
- because i ' m a man , i can be relied upon to purchase basic
- groceries at the store , like milk or bread . i cannot be expected
- to find exotic items like " cumin " or " tofu " or " cardamom . "
- for all i know these are all the same thing .
- because i ' m a man , when one of our appliances stops working
- i will insist on taking it apart , despite evidence that this will just
- cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and
- has to put it back together .
- because i ' m a man , i must hold the television remote control
- in my hand while i watch tv . if the thing has been misplaced ,
- i may miss a whole show looking for it ( though one time i was
- able to survive by holding a calculator ) .
- because i ' m a man , i don ' t think we ' re all that lost , and no , i
- don ' t think we should stop and ask someone . why would
- you listen to a complete stranger - - i mean , how could he
- know where we ' re going ?
- because i ' m a man , i do not want to visit your mother ,
- or have your mother come visit us , or talk to her when she
- calls , or think about her any more than i have to .
- whatever you got her for mother ' s day is okay , i don ' t
- need to see it . and don ' t forget to pick up something for
- my mom , too !
- because i ' m a man , you don ' t have to ask me if i liked the
- movie . chances are , if you ' re crying at the end of it , i didn ' t .
- because i ' m a man , yes , i have to turn up the radio when
- bruce springsteen or the doors comes on , and then ,
- yes , i have to tell you every single time about how bruce
- had his picture on the cover of time and newsweek the
- same day , or how jim morrison is buried in paris and
- everyone visits his grave . please do not behave as if you
- do not find this fascinating .
- because i ' m a man , i think what you ' re wearing is fine .
- i thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine ,
- too . either pair of shoes is fine . with the belt or without it
- looks fine . your hair is fine . you look fine .
- can we just go now ?
- because i ' m a man , and this is , after all , the 2000 ' s , i will
- share equally in the housework . you just do the laundry ,
- the cooking , the gardening , the cleaning , and the dishes . i ' ll
- do the rest .
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