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- Subject: fw : quips
- > remember , amateurs built the ark .
- > > professionals built the titanic .
- > >
- > > conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good .
- > >
- > > talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand .
- > >
- > > stupidity got us into this mess - - why can ' t it get us out ?
- > >
- > > love is grand ; divorce is a hundred grand .
- > >
- > > even if you are on the right track , you ' ll get run over if you just sit
- > there .
- > >
- > > politicians and diapers have one thing in common .
- > > they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason .
- > >
- > > an optimist thinks that this is the best possible world .
- > > a pessimist fears that this is true .
- > >
- > > there is always death and taxes ;
- > > however death doesn ' t get worse every year .
- > >
- > > people will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that
- > > benjamin franklin said it first .
- > >
- > > it ' s easier to fight for one ' s principles than to live up to them .
- > >
- > > i don ' t mind going nowhere as long as it ' s an interesting path .
- > >
- > > anything free is worth what you pay for it .
- > >
- > > indecision is the key to flexibility .
- > >
- > > it hurts to be on the cutting edge .
- > >
- > > if it ain ' t broke , fix it till it is .
- > >
- > > i don ' t get even , i get odder .
- > >
- > > in just two days , tomorrow will be yesterday .
- > >
- > > i always wanted to be a procrastinator , never got around to it .
- > >
- > > dijon vu - - the same mustard as before .
- > >
- > > i am a nutritional overachiever .
- > >
- > > my inferiority complex is not as good as yours .
- > >
- > > i am having an out of money experience .
- > >
- > > i plan on living forever . so far , so good .
- > >
- > > i am in shape . round is a shape .
- > >
- > > not afraid of heights - - afraid of widths .
- > >
- > > practice safe eating - - always use condiments .
- > >
- > > a day without sunshine is like night .
- > >
- > > i have kleptomania , but when it gets bad , i take something for it .
- > >
- > > if marriage were outlawed , only outlaws would have in - laws .
- > >
- > > i am not a perfectionist . my parents were though .
- > >
- > > life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges , but
- > > eventually you find a hair stylist you like .
- > >
- > > you ' re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
- > that
- > > you once got from a roller coaster .
- > >
- > > one of life ' s mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman
- > gain
- > > five pounds .
- > >
- > > it ' s frustrating when you know all the answers , but nobody bothers to ask
- >
- > you
- > > the questions .
- > >
- > > the real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
- > right
- > > time , but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment .
- > >
- > > time may be a great healer , but it ' s also a lousy beautician .
- > >
- > > brain cells come and brain cells go , but fat cells live forever .
- > >
- > > age doesn ' t always bring wisdom , sometimes age comes alone .
- > >
- > > life not only begins at forty , it begins to show .
- > >
- > > you don ' t stop laughing because you grow old , you grow old because you
- > > stopped laughing .
- >
- >
- - attl . htm
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